Irresistible grace is incompatible with divine love. The bottom line is "irresistible" and "grace" do not belong together. It is as oxymoronic as:
Voluntary force
Hateful love
Cruel kindness
Grace is gift. Irresistible is force. God, if God is love, is not going to force anyone into belief. God did not create us with moral agency just to turn around and strip us of it. Jesus fed Judas when he knew Judas had sold him out. Jesus let the rich young man walk away.
The angel Gabriel did not say, "Hey there, Mary, guess what? You are now pregnant!" Gabriel said Jesus would be conceived by the Holy Spirit IN FUTURE TENSE, not in past tense like we do in the creed, because it had not yet happened at the annunciation. We do not know exactly when it did happen, but it seems to me to make sense that if Gabriel was sent by God, and the tradition was that Gabriel was one of the angels who stands perpetually in God's presence, that Gabe had some idea of what was going down. He at least knew enough in the account of the Annunciation (Luke 1:26-38) to use past tense in verses 26-30, (for example in verse 30, "You HAVE found favor with God") and future tense in verses 31-37 ("You WILL conceive...You WILL name him Jesus...The Holy Spirit WILL come upon you..." I think it is reasonable to assume the conception did not occur until after his announcement, and her acceptance of this assignment. Mary consented, she was not forced.
Our "YES" means nothing if we are not able to say "NO." Grace, which comes from love, is not irresistible, it is not forced.
While I am at it, let me add that I think if Jesus' own birth announcement took place in this way, God is not pleased with forced birth. Mary was a teenage girl at this point. If God did not force her to give birth, God is not honored when "Christians" in this country force women to give birth.
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