I am going to make a confession here. I am not always in the most charitable of moods. I saw a couple of interviews today with the common theme of relating respectfully with one another in spite of our differences. I have always tried to do that, but I did get, at one point, to the place where I could not do that with anybody in the group where I had my religious trauma, not because I held everybody in the group guilty or responsible. No, it was because it was just so damned painful and at times I withdrew from people just so I would not pour my own pain on them. Sometimes I still do this. I have "unfriended" people I like before because I distrust my ability to refrain from obnoxiousness.
At this point in my life, relating with people on the other end of the political spectrum does not feel safe for me. There is a scene in the movie WE ARE MARSHALL, which took place basically in my backyard, which describes how I feel.
There is a place in the movie where this dialogue takes place:
Later, in a scene between Jack and assistant coach, Red Dawson (Matthew Fox), the former team’s only remaining coach who had switched out with someone else just prior to the crash. Jack tries to change Red’s mind about quitting the team.
Just before the plane crash, Red had earlier recalled Coach Tolley’s final words to his team that had just lost on the field. He said, “Winning is everything.” In a scene that took place in a church, where Jack found Red, Jack says, “He was right, you know.” Red asks, “Who was right?” Jack says …
Your boy Tolley. Winning is everything and nothing else matters. I mean, I’ve said that so many times myself I’ve lost count. You know? And it doesn’t matter what sport, and it doesn’t matter what country, any coach who is worth a darn in this business believes those words. Fact. And then I came here. For the first time in my life, hell, maybe for the first time in the history of sports, suddenly, it’s just not true anymore. At least not here, not now. No. You see, Red, it doesn’t matter if we win or if we lose. It’s not even about how we play the game. What matters is that we play the game. That we take the field, that we suit up on Saturdays, and we keep this program alive. We play the game, Red, and I’m telling you, one day, not today, not tomorrow, not this season, probably not next season either, but one day, you and I are gonna wake up and suddenly we’re gonna be like every other team in every other sport where winning is everything and nothing else matters. And when that days comes, well, that’s when we’ll honor them.
That is how I feel now. People who knew me as a Quaker pastor often told me they respected me because I was always willing to sit and talk with people on all sides of any issues. I was called upon at times to try to broker peace and reconciliation between Quaker folks on different sides of issues.
But as I think about the possibility of a second Trump presidency, I am finding I have no interest in such brokering. To me it is like being a divorced person having to negotiate how much unsupervised visitation time the other parent gets with your child who they abused. It feels like saying to the Nazis, "Six million is too much but we can split the difference and let you kill three million."
I know some people will find that offensive. But I do believe we are in that kind of territory and everyone is endangered if this crowd gets anything they want. It breaks my heart to say that. IT BREAKS MY HEART FAR, FAR MORE that my friends and colleagues are not saying it enough. (My dear brother Rev. Rob Schenck is.) I do not think most professional religious types realize the danger we are in. OR they fear the people in the pews more than they desire to avoid displeasing God.
Find common ground? "Not here, not now. No."
For years this country has said we do not negotiate with terrorists. But calls for centrism, as I see it, commit us to negotiating with terrorists. I hope I am wrong.
As much as I oppose most tax cuts, you can compromise there. If one side wants the top rate at 40%, and the other wants 30%, you can meet in the middle at 35%. There are areas where compromise is a sign of maturity. But there are areas where not compromising is a sign of morality.
You cannot find common ground with racism.
You cannot find common ground with misogyny.
You cannot find common ground with ableism.
You cannot find common ground with people who are anti-LGBT+.
You cannot find common ground with those who do not want religiously pluralistic society.
I think there are two things we must do, no matter what:
BE NON-VIOLENT because that is what Christ-followers do.
BE NON-COMPROMISING OR NON-NEGOTIATING because the well-being of everyone depends on refusing to compromise with those who dehumanize or denigrate others.
And this is painful!
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